It started with “hi”
I was surprised at first but I thought it had to do with the help I asked for earlier. But no, it wasn’t that. He said he was hopefully trying to take me out. I laughed my ass out. It was funny for real. Considering he was my brother’s friend. Then I said to myself. “This must be fun”. We got talking. As a detective that I am, loll, I asked questions which he graciously replied. And heasked me a few. We chatted a lot and also phone calls (a lot of them). I must say, it was fun. And yeah, he wanted a relationship. And I thought about it for a while and then I was like “what’s the harm in that?” of course he was my brother’s friend. He wouldn’t hurt me. He’s not some fuckboy or whatever. Getting to know him and starting an unofficial relationship was within the frame of one month. Short, some might say.Trust me, if the guy came to you the way he came to me, you would think he’s the man you’ve been waiting for. He wasn’t exactly on my checklist for a man lollfunny he wasn’t even half. But he loved me. He painted that he loved me. And that was beautiful. Oh I thought I had met my soul mate. It was perfect. Come on, we were already making a long term plans. My friend was praying for my kind of relationship. Come on, guys, it was perfect! He promised to love me the right way and all. Loll. As a planner that I am, I already planned so many things like birthday gifts and all that. I thought I had it all. I was so happy. I washappy. Happy happy happy. He promised me a life with me (like he used lines like “we will keep making ourselves better till I carry his babies”. Even thoughmy dad already mentioned in one of our conversations that a guy (especially a guy that isn’t done with school or still getting his life together) that promises you marriage at first is lying-there are exceptions though). Steve Harvey said the same too. So it was like I was blinded by love like they would say. But he was my brother’s friend. Come on! The worst that can happen is that we won’t be compatible (which was not looking at it….like come on, he reads Ted Dekker’s novels! He even sent me a few) and will end it amicably (no fights) he sweet talked me under the premise that he can’t take up another day without me in it; that I was his number one priority and his forever person.
My feelings at first:
Let’s go straight to the bomb! That’s what we are all waiting for
During the course of our chat one day, I asked about a picture on his whatsapp wallpaper. He mentioned his best friend and her name. I thought she was pretty even though later on, my friends said she wasn’t.
One night I was on the phone with my baby boo. I was a lady drunk in love💑. Oh lest I forget, I prayed so much about him, for him. I’m a prayer person and I believeso much in God. I watched so many YouTube videos about how to make a relationship work and we did a devotionals together. He agreed to my rule of celibacy. Oh, did I mentioned he lied he was depressed? Oh yeah he did! I looked for devotionals on that for him (#girlfriend goals) and of course I found out that was a lie too. Loll, we were goals or at least, I thought we were. He even mentioned we should write a book together. Normally I wouldn’t share my relationship stories but I’ve come to realize that it is a memoir of my life, either bad or good, I have to accept. So back to the phone call, we were talking and all, a conversation led to him making a statement that it wouldn’t be easy for me to find a boyfriend, but it would be easy for him to find a girlfriend. He said it was a joke but I didn’t find it funny. He apologized and I let it go. He loved me after all, right?
Then his phone went off. Some minutes later, he sent me a message and I told him to call me back, he was like he will call me back that he’s on the phone with his best friend. I would have let it go but I didn’t. I felt it was common sense to finish your conversation with the previous person before the other. He said she called and all. He called and I didn’t pick up. I was mad. I was like I come before that best friend, man. Later I replied his message and I explained how I felt. He apologized of course. But I still wasn’t settled. Of course by now, you should know that it’s more than that call. The next day I called him. Like I wanted to be convinced and assured that something wasn’t wrong. My guts were all up. Anyway his attitude during the chat and phone set things off. He said things “I’m just waiting here hoping you wouldn’t take a drastic move” (maybe that’s because I make jokes about breaking up) and “I don’t know what else to say or do”
Come on, man.
Anyway my guts were still up even if I made him say sorry a couple of times. And I knew that if I had stayed, I would constantly have to wonder where I stand with him so it was time for me to stop standing. Already I didn’t trust him. The makeup he put on his face when he first came to me was washing off already. A person’s true colours will always show within time. You may be fooled for the moment but be patient and see what happens.
So, I ended things with him. He said if that was what I wanted, then fine. For the rest of the day I was numb about it. The next day I felt the breakup hurts and all. I felt like I was picked over. Anyway few weeks later I found that the person he called his best friend was an ex-girlfriend he had on and off relationship with but was finally done with before he came to me, so they say.
Now I felt like a rebound.
💁🏾♀️This is where my razzness came in. I sent him VNs hailing him. He was a good actor and he was being smart and for about a month, he did get me. Thank Jesus for the Holy Spirit and the strength to walk away. Mehn, this guy gave me some good feelings. And yeah, he didn’t reply to the VNs anyway. Which my friends said whether he replied or not, he was still stupid.
Shout-out to best female friends!
🧝🏾♀️🧝🏾♀️What fun would this be if I leave this part out? So one night, one of my homie suggested something and our petty selves went ahead with it. This is what happened: we were going to brush off the idea of the prank call but something stupid happened. My homie mistakenly called him with her number and then she had to cook up a story about how she was trying to reach someone. So it worked and she mentioned a random name which we of course know is not his name but my baby boo said he was the one. Wow! My homie got really pissed. She was like what if the story was true and this person needed to reach that individual so we went ahead with the prank. She called him with a private number and said she was calling from a mortuary. To retrieve a dead body, he should press one. To embound a dead body, press two. To die, press three. 😂 So this guy cut the call, blocked all incoming calls and switched off his phone. After few hours (midnight) we tried calling again, he picked, we said the same thing and this time, he was just mute. The third time we tried it, he was shouting God forbid!
Wow, so you know God, man?
This was petty, I know.
The day I ended things, I told my cousin. She said that he wanted something from me (sex, I guess) and he knew he couldn’t get it so he found a way out. And that how am I sure the call ish and his attitude was not a way to really set me off. If you know me, you would know disrespect is something that I can’taccommodate from anyone. I was hurting during this period. Very much. My loved ones told me he didn’tdeserve me. True. I knew that so. But that didn’t stop me from hurting and a part of me wishing the phone ish never happened and he never lied. Lol.
Anyway I later found out again that he did smoke and drink during he told me on our first day of chatting that he didn’t.
Come on man. Why the lies?🤷🏿♀️
Guys, I was hurt. I was so pained. I was angry. So so angry. I checked myself so many times. I was like I’m better than what this guy did. So while he was feeding me the lies and all and I was like okay. He was probably laughing Nah. Loll.
I was heartbroken. I felt disrespected. How dare you, man? You were my brother’s friend. Why would you do that?
P.S. 😎don’t ask me how I got to know but I eventually saw the ex-girlfriend/best friend. Well….
But it’s part of life, right?
It’s a lesson, move on, babe.
And honestly that’s the truth. It’s part of life. You lie and move on. I used to be angry and hurt and all that, time has a way of healing one’s heart.
This guy didn’t not even send me. No messages or whatever.
I hate to admit that this is part of my life story. But I guess we don’t always have a say.A part of me wished I had shut him off the day he professed his love but its life and I have to deal with it. Life can sometimes be unfair.
I’m a confident person. I know I’m beautiful and brilliant, like my mom said to me when I told her what happened. Why define myself through the eyes of someone who didn’t respect me and objectified me? Now I can say this. When I first ended things, it didn’t seem like it.
That’s why its good to have a life outside a person or rather have your own life. Because that was what helped me during the hurts.
I remember when he once said to me that it’s like my emotions were turned off. Lol. I’m just a person that can’t settle. Some would have stayed, maybe because it wasn’t worth a breakup but my guts never lied and eventually did they?
Our bodies do not like to get hurt so when something terrible is about to happen, it would alarm us. To me, that’s the Holy Spirit talking,
And if any I’m grateful that, he gave me more clarity as to the kind of man I deserve to have in my life. And I know better now. I learnt the hard way. What teaches better than experience? And it strengthened my relationship with God. All I did was to take a first step, I didn’t see the whole staircase. I just trusted my guts.
Loll, he is someone I used to know but no longer has a place in my heart (it took time though. I gave my heart time to heal. It is not magic, guys. Some days might hurt more than some others). I felt stupid for a while. Like how could I have let him in? How can I blame myself for what I didn’t know? My responsibility came in when my guts alarmed me and I’m glad I took the way out though I wasn’t easy. So while some might say it’s not that deep, you hadn’t even gone on your first date. It was deep for me because I trusted so much that I made no room for disappointment. What he did was very disrespectful.
I’m talking about this experience this late because I had a feeling that maybe he would feel important or whatever or that I was just being silly or too deep or whatever. Or it was an embarrassing experience of my life. I’m not the type not to get it right. It was very strange to me when I was told he didn’t give a damn about me.
But it’s a memoir of my life📖. It did make me to be a better person and I had to give every part of me to heal. The love from family and friends and my bible of course helped me a great deal and so did TIME. I’m not so patient but this taught me patience. Give time time while my pastor would say. I couldn’t give the luxury of letting the next man or the man pay for m\his mistakes so I had to make myself whole again from the broken pieces of my heart
Love doesn’t need to be perfect. It just needs to be true📌. And this is not some write-up about how men are scums or something. Men are not scum. This particular one was just a scum. After all I’m still going to marry a man. And really even from something as small as this (as some of you would say), the feeling or a bit of urge to put up with something we know isn’t good for us, is there. Mostly from the fear that we might not get something better or what if that’s the best we can get.
We accept the love we think we deserve, don’t we?
During the breakup recovery, I felt like maybe I’m going to be single for the rest of my life(as I’m a person that believes there’s no point of dating if it’s not serious and serious, I mean the likelihood of marriage), maybe I don’t deserve better after all. Those are not true. As a Christian, it’s the devil feeding me lies. As a rational thinker, it’s the negative energy from earth feeding those lies. Either way, it’s not true. A relationship does not in any way complete one. Despite how happy I felt, I was fighting my demons.
Take a chance. And trust whatever supernatural being you believe in. well, I trust God. He has my back. This is not some cliché sentence. It’s just true.
I happily moved on and I let Karma do the rest. I don’t have all the answers to the whys. And that’s okay. That’s the beautiful part. I’m not stressing out. Getting rid of toxic people (including toxic boyfriends or relationships or rather situation–ships) is the best anti-aging thing I could do in my life. I’m too young to be old right now😇.
So message to y’all
And check out this link, guys. http://www.google.com/amp/s/themindsjournal.com/fuckboy-manipulate-fall-for-him/amp/