Moderator: Heartbreak is something that I think almost everyone goes through and specially at some point of our lives. And I remember in fact, my teacher once telling me that it is at your time you love, you break, and you learn to love again and again and again. and the beauty of it is that you fall in love again and you break but then it always ends up healing you again. everybody teaches us how to love like movies, poems…Almost many things teach us how to love but nobody has ever taught how to undo the love.
Sadguru: See about breaking hearts, I don’t have a broken heart because I gave away my heart very early on in my life, so nobody can break it, you know? I gave it away. you should do that, then nobody can break it. See, we must understand this.
What is a love affair?
is it okay, mechanics of love affair? we can look at it? i’m not trying to de-romanticize everything.
it’s just this. Let’s say you are ten years of age. you looked around, the world was quite normal. Was it normal when you were ten, twelve? it was normal.
See, it was looking quite normal, suddenly after some time, you got little poisoned, chemically poisoned. Then you looked. Every little bump on somebody’s body looks like a world by itself. Till then everything was okay, isn’t it?
You were ten, twelve, it was okay.
You became thirteen and you looked like this, suddenly this is a world by itself.
But it is very important that we understand what’s happening to us. Otherwise we will do idiotic things that we may regret later, you know? It’s not a question of morality. It is a question of handling our lives sensibly.
The neighborhood’s scrawny girl who didn’t mean a damn thing to you, suddenly she is the focus, she is the apple of your eyes. So this is because your intelligence has been hijacked by your hormones. So it is making funny things happen. It is making you believe all kinds of things. When you look back and see you will feel stupid but it’s okay. There is nothing wrong about it
This serial heartbreak business can leave you paranoid about anything, about bonding with anybody in your life. You have serial heartbreaks, it will look like fun for some time. After some time, you just don’t actually trust anybody in your life, because another human being is a problem always.
Only when our emotions allow us to cross that problem, in some way they get included. But if we have serial heartbreaks, we will never allow our emotions to cross those barriers, we will always be cautious. Because anyway, this comes with an expiry date. When people come with an expiry date..yes..there is an expiry date for all of us, but relationships, the idea of building relationships is that it’s of support in all levels of life.
So that two people, that means two brains and two bodies can do better than one, in many ways. In various aspects of life–in profession, in domestic situation, in life, in companionship, in emotion, in arranging and organizing our lives, in every way two people can do better than one person.
That is the idea.
And of course, nature is pushing us together. Because nature doesn’t care about our love affairs, it just wants us to reproduce. Yes. You think mother nature is worried whether you love or you don’t love? It wants you to reproduce. But we’ve overdone that a little bit. There’s no hurry, we don’t have to yield to that.
If you were a tiger, I would encourage you, “Please reproduce, reproduce,” because it is an endangered species. Human beings definitely not endangered, we are endangering everything. So reproduction is not the purpose right now. We have kept it aside but nature’s push is towards that.
That is the important thing.
For that, we need the cooperation of another person who is also somehow congruent to us. Every two days, if you have heartbreaks and going on, well, you will see the trouble of that