Fears

Hello guys.

Last night, I had a night with some wonderful ladies in my hostel from my church. And if I’m being honest, I had my reservations about some of them. I’m not exactly a fan of a lot of people. I’m learning because it is a Christian thing to do. 

Romans 14 says so.

We talked, laughed and ate together. From the beginning, I thought that night was going to be random and I’d most likely sneak out.

Then we played a game about first impressions and another game about our deepest fears and insecurities. Then the real talk came up. We all had to say something. Well, I didn’t have anything to write. I for sure could relate with almost everything the other girls said. And then an amazing lady said some things about relationship with a parent. When she was done talking, others chipped in what they thought about it. And I talked too.

The night was emotional. With our different personalities, we connected. We had common denominators. 

For me, the connection stuck. 

We were a number of women with so many to say and do. And we have fears. The system is sometimes not favourable. Mostimportantly, we knew we weren’t alone. 

That night, I got to talk about a significant period in my life and I didn’t even know it was that significant. 

I am so proud of every girl in that room. We are fighting the good fight. We don’t agree on everything but the fight is that glue that holds us together. 

From insecurities about not being good enough, to being too much, to difficult relationship with parents, to mental struggles.

We had the strength to voice out. Talking didn’t make all these go away. To me, it proved strength. 

Life is a lot. It throws everything at us regardless of whether we can handle them or not. Life doesn’t care. 

I can’t say I had the strongest relationship with God during my most difficult periods, but somehow his grace and favour found me. I like to attribute that to my parents’ prayers. 

We got to talk about our parents and their struggles. Because most times as children, we forget that they are humans and they are not perfect. They can also get frustrated, angry and act out of control like we do. But we, kids can’t accept that because we need them to be perfect. We can always fall back on them when we miss it. So we need them to be perfect. Not good enough but perfect. We don’t appreciate them enough and we don’t do so much. I am so guilty of that. There is always more to do. Being a parent is a big deal. 

At the end, we prayed individually and hugged one another and thank one another. It takes strength and growth to talk. The emotional bond we shared is indescribable.

We are simply women who have purposes in life that can’t afford to go unfulfilled.

If you have sisters or mothers and female friends, show just a little more goodness. 

The society already tells a woman she is not good enough. So she has to look a certain way, dress a certain way, talk a certain way and walk a certain way so she can be good enough in a workplace or a relationship. The major fear that holds a woman back from ending a relationship that isn’t worth it is that, “what if I don’t find someone else? What if this is the best I can get?” so already, she can’t dream too big or too high so she can always fell in-between. 

A man’s life is equally difficult of course. I’m not denying that.

My focus right now is on women. Because I’m also talking about my struggles. I as a person, is very quick to reject statements like “who would marry you?” “You’re too tough” “you just might end up being a single mom” 

All these because I am too independent, they say. Women are associated with weakness, timidity and dependence. Truth is, many women are like this. And those that are not, are termed weird and strange. They are not “women” and they sure aren’t men. So what are they?

I don’t know. Do you?

I don’t think this write-up has done justice to the thoughts in my head. They are so much and I can’t seem to fathom them into words. 

There are difficult days ahead. But at least, we don’t have to be afraid. We just have to be spontaneous and do it!

I want to get it right in life. I sometimes get worried that I won’t. That’s true. 

But then I’ll just leave that at the feet of Jesus. I can’t do this on my own. 

Accept your person, lady.

Celebrate your strengths 

Work on your weakness

Never lose yourself

Give out a little piece of you.

Most importantly, serve God in truth and in spirit.

5 comments

  1. Life is in stages and a teacher in itself. The struggles we go through in life ensure that we get to where we are meant to be if only we don’t give up.

    The society usually term those who know where they are going to (in life) as “weird” or “tough” because so many do not have direction. The only antidote is to be optimally focused, time will tell.

    Liked by 1 person

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