Life is wide. Big. Broad.

Life is different for everyone. 

And because we see life differently, we often think our views are superior. Maybe it is. Who knows?

This is not a write-up about how we should view others’ opinions and all that. But rather, it is about full acceptance of one’s view.

Why do we have different views to life? Is it because of family background? Education? Environment? Personality type? 

Our views are legit what determine the course of our lives. 

In a society like Nigeria, an adult’s view is seen to be superior. I agree to disagree. While I agree that some knowledge in life can only come with age, I also believe some come with individuality. 

Advices are overrated. We advise based on factors that may be in contrast with the person receiving the advice. 

A lot of us are full of shit really. We say what we don’t do and we do what we don’t say. 

We have to understand ourselves very well.

Let me share a story with you. 

When I first entered university, I joined my home church fellowship because it’s the best. We would agree, yes? And of course my parents said I should because it was safer.


In short time, I was already made an executive for the first year students (freshers). Wow! And then, I wasn’t at peace. Something felt wrong. But asking for advice, I was told that it is part of the devil’s scheme to distract me. That it is God’s work and I should do it. But still, it didn’t feel right. Of course, I was in a fellowship. Of course, I was serving him which I wasn’t even doing well. It was almost always a necessity, not what I wanted to do. In fact I had some conflicts with the heads about some things I felt weren’t right. That never ended well.

Then one day, I resigned and left the fellowship.

Even those I called friends were against me on this. I don’t blame them. Looking at it at the surface level, you would think, “This girl made a big mistake. She left God’s work…Blah blah”

If I’m correct, I cut contact with a friend then because of this.

Here is something I want to bring out before I continue. Life isnot a straight line. Life is different for everyone. While you are trying to be a good friend and also make sure your friend does not miss it as per spiritual walk, you should also be careful not to overstep your boundaries and actually understand that you cannot love someone more than herself. 

So back to the story, after I left, I attended the main church outside church for a while. I wasn’t consistent in fact. Then one day, I was invited to a church which is my current church now and I felt home. I was drawn there initially because of Hillsong worships (I love them). I got there, I was already in love with the worship and then the preaching was amazing. 

Because of my previous experience, I took very slow steps with this present church. I wanted to be sure that it was God’s place for me. It had little to do with my feelings actually. Feelings are deceptive. And now, I know God so much better and I have joined a unit. Because of the bold step I took to join a unit there, I came to my home church and did the same. Last Sunday was the first time I served and it was amazing. Serving came so naturally and I knew for sure that I was following God’s will for my life.

If I had stayed in that fellowship, I wouldn’t be here. I would be going to the fellowship and coming back with nothing to show and that my personal relationship with God would be flawed. And of course, I would take offences at every little thing. It doesn’t mean God is not in that fellowship, its not just where God wants me to be. When humans are uncomfortable, we act out. It is not easy to start all over or take a very big step. It could be uncertain. We like focus. Focus and certainty are very important to the human existence. And we also like to hope.

We have to be able to take bold and challenging steps. That is the true test of strength. My best friend told me one day that having to take bold steps that no one would understand but yourself doesn’t make you a bad person. She further said that if the plane was so conscious of the ground, it wouldn’t fly. What I picked from this is that when it is time to fly to the sky, you need to be able to do it. The strength for that comes only from God.

Listen to the voice of God. God has a way of talking to every one of us. We have to search internally to make sure we are not employing another person’s way of hearing from God. 

If you have made a bad choice in a boyfriend/girlfriend, a friend, a line of work or whatever it may be, you have to go back to God on your knees and ask for his help. Tell him to tell youwhat to do. It could be worth saving or it could be walking away. Whatever it may, you need to ask God, not your friends or anyone else but God. Don’t tell him how to do it. He will tell you how to do it. Trust him. And whatever he tells you to do, you have to obey… don’t be sentimental about it. Do it and let him take over. 

So that you have been dating for like ten years, if God says no, it’s no.

Remember in Jonah 1:10-17

“The sailors were terrified when they heard this, for he had already told them he was running away from the Lord. “oh, why did you do it?” they groaned.”

“And since the storm was getting worse all the time, they asked him, “Which should we do to you to stop this storm?”

“Throw me into the sea” Jonah said, “and it will become calm again. I know that this terrible storm is all my fault.”
“Instead, the sailors rowed even harder to get the ship to the land. But the stormy sea was too violent for them and they couldn’t make it.”

“Then they cried out to the Lord, Jonah’s God. “O Lord,” they pleased, “don’t make us die for this man’s sin. And don’t hold us responsible for his death. O Lord, you have sent this storm upon him for your own good reasons.”

“Then the sailors picked Jonah up and threw him into the raging sea, and the storm stopped at one!”

“The sailors were awestruck by the Lord’s great power and they offered him a sacrifice and vowed to serve him.”

“Now the Lord had arranged for a great fish to swallow Jonah. And Jonah was inside the fish for three days and three nights.”

In this scenario, they knew why they had to let Jonah go. If left to me, that was easier. But when you don’t know why but the Holy Spirit is prompting you to do so, it is harder but you just have to.

At the end of the day, they(the travel companions and Jonah) were both saved. Separately.

Pay attention to yourself more. You don’t owe anyone anything. At the end of the day, you have just you. So why not just follow God, not the society?


  1. Our experiences in life shape our future and of course these experiences play a huge part in who we are eventually, no matter how anybody else sees you, you’re in the best position to understand who you are. Now it is also important to recognise the prevailing conditions around us and adjust to it.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is a great piece b. I’m really thankful you put it out there – and sorry for some mistakes I made in the past. I’m glad for the point you’ve come to in your walk with God.
    As my favourite remark these days goes, it is one by one that we will meet God at the end of the day. It really is just you and God. 😘

    Liked by 1 person

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